Nyuma yo kunyura mu buzima bukomeye, mu bibazo, mu ntambara, mu bukene, gutsindwa, n’ ibindi, akenshi umuntu ariyanga akumva ko nta ntege afite nta bushobozi, nta bwenge nta gishoro, ndetse akemera ko ibibazo byamubayeho karande. Rimwe na rimwe yemera ko guhinduka bidashoboka. Akumva agomba kwibanira nabyo. Izo ngorane zibikamo umuntu amarangamutima, ibyiyumviro, ibitekerezo, imyumvire n’ imyemerere itandukanye n’iyo yari afite mbere y’uko ahura n’izo ngorane. Iyo mitekerereze iragenda ndetse ikaba yahindura n’imyitwarire mu buzima bwawe ndetse no mu mibanire n’abandi. Ibyo hari n’aho bigera bikagira ingaruka zikomeye mu mubiri w’umuntu akaba yanakurizamo uburwayi budasanzwe ndetse butabonwa cyangwa budashobora kubonwa n’ibyuma bikoreshwa bipima indwara ngo bibashe kubona impamvu yateye ubwo burwayi.

Ese ibyo bitekerezo ni ubwo buzima bwose mbamutima bishobora guhinduka? Ese izo ndwara zishobora kuvurwa n’imiti bikarangira? Aha rero niho nongera kugaruka ku ngingo yo gutandukana n’ ububabare bw’amarangamautima, imitekerereeze, imyitwaririe, ububabare bw’ingorane umuntu ahura nazo. Ese umuntu atandukana ate n’ ubwo bubabare? Ese uwo muntu arongera akabasha kubaho, akabaho neza atibagiwe ko yanyuze ahakomeye? Ese ubwo bubabare bunyura he? Akenshi umuntu kugira ngo abandi bavuge ko yanyweye uburozi, yahumanyijwe ni uko aba yagize icyo afata kikanyura mu kanwa, mu mazuru se akagihumeka cyangwa yewe akaba yanagiterwa mu maraso kikinjira mu mubiri kikawuhumanya.

Ubwo bubabare se bwo bunyura he? Biragoye kuvuga aho bunyura kuko ibintu bibabaza umuntu bikamuhangayikisha, bikamutera ubwoba ndetse akagera n’ aho yibaza ati kuki nabayeho, kuki ntari gupfa cyangwa ndetse umuntu akagera n’ aho yumva ko yapfuye. Ibyo rero binyura mu mirebere, mu bubabare, maze bikinjira imitekerereze, imiyoborere y’ibyiyumviro, y’amarangamutima, bikagera mu mitekerereze, imyizererere, imyemerere yewe bigasatira n’ imikorere y’umubiri w’umuntu. Sinatinya kuvuga ko bigera mu mubiri wose binyuze mu nzira z’ibyuyumviro zose za muntu. Bizasohoka bite rero, uzabiruka bite kugira ngo wongere kugira ubuzima butibagirwa ibyakubayeho ariko na none ibyakubayeho ntibigire imbata ubuzima bwawe?

Iyo nganira n’ abantu bahuye n’ ingorane ndababwira ngo ese ufite inshuti magara? Inshuti magara ni umuntu ushobora kubwira ibyawe byose, ni umuntu ushobora kwambara ubusa akagukarabya, ni umuntu utagirira isoni, ntumugirire ubwoba ko yakumvira ubusa, ko yakumenera ibanga n’ ibindi. Ni umuntu kandi ushobora kwishyira mu mwanya wawe akumva ko ibyakubayeho bikomeye, akaguha umwanya ukamubwira, ibyo umubwiye byakugora akakumva. Iyo kenshi abantu tuganira bakarira ndababwira nti iririre kuko ufite ishingiro, bambwira bati ndumva mfite umujinya nti ufite ishingiro ryo kugira umujinya n’ ibindi.

Ku bantu duhurira mu rugendo rwo gukira ibikomere no mu mahugurwa mbabwira ko kugira inshuti magara ari ngombwa, nkababwira ko iyo ugize Imana ubona uwo ubwira, iyo ugize Imana ubona uwo ubwira ko wagowe, ko warenganye, ko wahuye n’ingorane. Icyo gihe rero uvuga izo ngorane zose, ibyakugoye byose uba uriho usohora ububabare bw’amarangamutima, akenshi uko bwanyuze umubiri wose bwinjira ni nako bushobora kunyura umubiri wose busohoka. Iyo uvuga ibyo byose urabibona nk’uko icyo gihe wabibonaga, ugira amarangamutima nk’uko wayagiraga, yewe ushobora no kugira ubwoba nk’uko icyo gihe wabugiraga, yewe no mu mubiri wawe harahinduka, ngiyo rero inzira yo gusohora ububabare bw’amarangamutima buturuka ku ngorane, ku bibazo by’ubuzima. Icyo gihe cyose ubasha kuvuga ibyo bintu, urararuhuka wumva utuye umutwaro, iyo nanone nganira n’ abantu mbabaza ku bantu bakikorera imitwaro ku mutwe, uko biyumva iyo hagize ubafasha akabatura umutwaro uko bumva bameze, akenshi bambwira ko bumva baruhutse, ni nako bigenda rero ku mutwaro w’ibibazo, ku mutwaro w’agahinda, ku mu twaro w’ingorane.

Nyuma yo kuruhuka nibwo akenshi umuntu amenya neza ibyari bimuremereye ibyo ari byo, uko bingana n’ uburemere bifite. Nyuma yo gushira impumu nibwo umuntu amenya icyamwirukankanaga. Nyuma yo kuvuga ibyakubayeho, ibyo wanyuzemo nibwo ubiha igisobanuro ukamenya neza ibyakubayeho, ukamenya ubwo bubabare ubana nabwo ndetse ukamenya ni ingaruka byakugizeho. Ntabwo ushobora gukira mu gihe ubwawe utarabona ubwo bubabare, utararuhuka kandi utarabuha igisobanuro.
Hari benshi rero bumva ko bazabirekeraho bikarangira, bakabyirengagiza. Ntibishoboka kuko bajya bavuga ngo umuntu ariruka agasiga ikimwirukankaho ariko ntashobora gusiga ikimwirukankamo. Nk’uko nabigarutseho buriya bubabare buba bukwirukankamo umubiri wose, ndetse ibiteketezo yewe n’ imyitwaririre bikagera n’ aho mu mibanire bigaragara, abandi bakabibobona, bakabona ko umuntu afite ikibazo ni ubwo rimwe na rimwe batamenya neza aho gikomoka.

INZIRA Z’INGENZI ZAGUFASHA GUTANDUKA N’IKIBAZO

Kumenya ko ufite ikibazo cy’igikomere cyo kumutima no kumva ko gishobora gukemuka

Ikintu cya mbere ni ukumenya ko ufite ikibazo. Abantu benshi bafite ibibazo bijyanye n’ibikomere by’umutima, ihungabana cyangwa ubuzima bwo mu mutwe ntabwo babasha kumva ko bafite ibibazo, cyangwa se ngo basobonakirwe n’ubwoko bw’ibibazo bafite, uburyo bikemuka, cyangwa ko hari abantu babihugukiwe cyangwa abandi ba hafi bashobora kubafasha gusohoka mu ngorane baba barimo. Bakumva ko nta muntu ushobora kumva mwene ubwo bubabare. Abantu benshi nakira bambwira ko batumvaga ko hari umuntu ushobora kubatega matwi, agaha agaciro ububabare bafite, ndetse abenshi bambwira ko babumaranye imyaka myinshi. Umwe mu bantu mperutse kwakira yambwiraga ko abona ari igisebe, ati “igisebe ku mutima ndakibona, ni kibisi, kirava, kirambabaza, ariko nta wundi ushobora kukibona”. Undi ati“ikibyimba ku mutima ni kinini kirambabaza, kiramvuna kandi nta laboratoire ishobora kukibona”.
Ikindi n’uko ibyo bibazo hari igihe byisanisha n’ubundi burwayi bw’umubiri cyangwa ibindi bibazo bitandukanye. Bagashakira ibisubizo ahantu hatandukanye ndetse hamwe na hamwe badashobora kuhabonera ibisubizo.

Kuvumbura ikibazo, ukamenya icyo ari cyo ukacyita izina

Nk’uko bikunda kuvugwa mu Kinyarwanda bagira bati “ibuye ryagaragaye ntiriba rikishe isuka”. Kumenya ikibazo umuntu afite ni intambwe ikomeye yo gutandukana nacyo. Abantu benshi bakunda kumva ko aribo kibazo, bakumva ko bashobora kuba batuzuye cyangwa se baravumwe, bakumva ko ibibazo babana nabyo ari karande. Nyuma yo kumenyana, kwibwirana, guhumurizanya, kubaka icyizere hagati y’abantu duhura, mbanza kubatega amatwi, nkumva uburyo baremerewe. Nyuma yo kubumva mbaha umwitozo woroshye.
Mbaha urupapuro n’ikaramu nkababaza ikintu bumva kinjiye mu buzima bwabo, nkababaza ikintu bumva cyaremwe muri bo nyuma yo guca mu ngorane zitandukanye cyangwa yewe bumva cyaje mu buzima bwabo batazi iyo cyaturutse dore ko nabyo bibaho. Nkababwira nti “Ngiye kuguha umwitozo, urafata uru rupapuro unshushanyirizeho ikintu wumva cyaje mu buzima bwawe”. Icyangombwa si ugushushanya neza ahubwo ni iyo shusho turi bugihe, tukabasha kukibona niba gifite ishusho, tukabasha kucyumva niba kigira amajwi, tukabasha kukihumuriza niba kigira impumuro/umunuko, tukabasha kubihirwa niba kigira ububihe n’ibindi. Ntabwo biba byoroshye kukibona, tukagiha isura, tukagiha ishusho ndetse tukagiha izina. Akenshi twifashisha ingero z’abandi baba barabikoze mbere.

Ibibazo bigaragarira ahantu hatandukanye; haba mu bitekerezo, mu mubiri cyane cyane bakunda kubigaragaza biri mu mutima, mu mutwe ndetse hari byinshi bagaragaza bakabisanisha nk’ibintu byo mu mu buzima bwa buri munsi ariko bibabaza nk’amahwa, umuriro n’ ibindi . Hari ababigaragaza nko kubana n’ ibintu byakugirira nabi nk’inyamaswa z’inkazi n’ibindi. Ibi byose iyo wumvise ibimenyetso ibyo bibazo biba byarabazaniye usanga byagereranywa n’ibimenyetso bya bimwe mu bibazo by’uburwayi bwo mu mutwe. Ibyinshi birimo: kudasinzira, kwiyanga, kugira ubwoba no guhangayika cyane, gukoresha ibiyobyabwenge, kwitakariza icyizere no kugitakariza abandi, kumva ntacyo bashoboye, n’ibindi byinshi ntabasha kuronderera hano.
Uyu mwitozo ni umwitozo ufasha cyane umuntu kumva ko atari ikibazo. Ni umwitozo ufasha umuntu kumenya uwo ariwe ndetse n’ikibazo icyo aricyo. Iyo bamaze kunyereka icyo kintu cyaje mu buzima bwabo, nkunda kubabwira nti “biranshimishije cyane, biranshimishije cyane ko nsanze mutandukanye n’ikibazo”. Ikibazo ni ikibazo nawe uri wowe, ni ibintu bibiri bitandukanye kandi ni ibintu bibiri bishobora gutandukanywa”.
Ibyo byongera kurema icyizere mu muntu watekerezaga ko ari ikibazo. Akumva ko ikibazo ari ikintu cyaje mu buzima bwe kandi gishobora no gusubira iyo cyaturutse. Ni umwitozo uganisha ku nzira yo gutangira urugendo rukubiyemo ibikorwa n’ imyitozo itandukanye abantu bakora kugira ngo bahindure ubuzima bwabo, batandukane n’ingorane zijyanye n’imitekerereze, imyitwarire cyangwa se ububabare bujyanye n’ibikomere by’umutima, cyangwa se ibibazo bijyanye n’ubuzima bwo mu mutwe.

Nawe ubashije gusoma iyi nyandiko ukaba wumva utamerewe neza muri wowe uze kugerageza, urebe neza, ufate umwanya wawe utekereze. Urebe ikintu cyaba cyarakwigaruriye, ugihe ishusho, ishobora kuba yagaragara cyangwa itagaragara. Gishobora kuba kimwe cyangwa byinshi. Ugihe izina, rishobora kuba rimwe cyangwa menshi. Urebe igihe cyaziye mu buzima bwawe; ese wari ufite imyaka ingahe, ese ni iki cyagitumiye mu buzima bwawe? Akenshi urasanga atari wowe wagitumiye, urasanga kitisanisha nawe ubwawe, urasanga utarakivukanye, urasanga utaragize uruhare ngo kize mu buzima bwawe. Reba ibyo cyazanye mu buzima bwawe, mu bitekerezo, mu marangamutima, mu umubiri, mu mibanire n’abandi, reba uburyo kikugiraho ingaruka mu kazi kawe ka buri munsi. Numara kubikora byose urasanga gishobora gusubira aho cyavuye.

Kwiyemeza no gutangira urugendo rwo gutandukana n’ ikibazo

Nyuma yo kumenya ikibazo no kucyita izina, haba hasigaye urugendo rwo gutandukana nacyo cyangwa se rwo kwiga guturana nacyo kitakubujije amahoro, ndetse no gukomeza ubuzima. Hejuru navuze nti “ibuye ryagaragaye ntiriba rikishe isuka”, ndongera nkavuga nti “abishyize hamwe ntakibananira kandi ngo akagabo gahimba akandi kataraza cyangwa se ngo wirukankana umugabo kera ukamumara ubwoba”. Iyi ni imigani ya Kinyarwanda igaragazako iyo utangiye urwo rugendo, ruba rushobora gusozwa umuntu atandukana n’ikibazo.

Hari imyitozo itandukanye dukorana n’ abantu batandukanye yadufashije kongera kugira imbaraga no kuzibyutsa muri bo, gutinyuka kurema andi mateka muri bo, kubona uburyo bwo guhangana n’ibibazo cyangwa se guturana nabyo.
Imyitozo itandukanye yo kwandika ibaruwa: twandikira ibibazo, tubyigisha gutandukana natwe, tubyereka imbaraga dufite n’ibindi bikoresho dufite byadufashije kongera kugira impagarike n’ubugingo. Inyandiko zitandukanye zirimo; amabaruwa, ibishushanyo/ amashusho, nk’ igiti cy’ubuzima, ikipe y’ubuzima, inzu y’ubuzima, impamyabushobozi, indirimbo, imigani ya Kinyarwanda n’ibindi. Ni ibikoresho byifashishijwe n’abantu batandukanye, bagakora urugendo rwo kwitandukanya n’ ibibazo byo mu mutwe.

Nawe usoma iyi nyandiko, birashoboka ko hari igikomere cyaje mu buzima bwawe, ukaba wifuza gutandukana nacyo, ukaba waragerageje kenshi ndetse ukitabaza n’ahantu hatandukanye ariko igikomere kigakomeza kukuzengereza, kikakubuza amahoro, kikakubuza ibitotsi, kikakuzanira ububare butandukanye butagaragarira abandi (bubonwa nawe wenyine), kikaguteza ibibazo mu kazi, mu rugo cyangwa n’ahandi hatandukanye.

Fata akanya wongere ukirebe niba wakoze umwitozo wa mbere, niba kandi utawukoze uwukore, gihe ishusho, reba uko kimeze niba ushobora kugishyira ku rupapuro ugishushanye, cyite izina, itegereze uko gisa, reba ibikigize byose. Gerageza ucyandikire, hari byinshi ushobora kukibwira, birashoboka ko cyaje mu buzima bwawe utabishaka kandi utanagitumiye. Niba wumva wabikibwira simbizi, birashoboka ko ukimaranye imyaka myinshi ko kikubuza amahoro, ko kigutera uburwayi/ ububabare, kiguteranya n’abandi, inshuti, abavandimwe umuryango n’abandi. Kukibibwira niba ari ngombwa urabikibwira. Hari igihe waba wumva urambiwe kubana n’ikibazo, ukaba wumva wakibwira ko urushye ukaba wumva wakibwira ko kigomba kuguha amahoro, ukakibwira ko kigomba gusubira aho cyaturutse nawe ugasubirana umuneza, impagarike n’ubuzima wahoranye, niba ari ngombwa ko ubikibwira urabikibwira. Hari igihe waba ufite imbaraga, intwaro zitandukanye, abantu se cyangwa ibindi bintu bikuba hafi bigufasha guhangana n’ikibazo kandi biteguye kugufasha mu rugendo rwo gutandukana n’ ikibazo nabyo niwumva ari ngombwa urabibwira icyo kibazo. Hari byinshi wakibwira, gerageza ufate umwanya wawe uhagije ucyandikire, ukibwire akari ku mutima wawe kose.

Numara kucyandikira, subiza amaso inyuma urebe igihe cyaziye mu buzima bwawe, akenshi urasanga utaravukanye nacyo, urasanga akenshi ibibazo byaraje mu rugendo rw’ubuzima bwawe, hari aho usanga byaraje mu bwana bwawe, hari aho usanga byaraje mu gihe cy’ubugimbi n’ubwangavu, hari aho usanga byaraje mu gihe cy’urushako rwawe n’ahandi n’ahandi. Birakomeza kuduhamiriza ko ari ikintu gitandukanye n’ubuzima bwacu bitume dukataza kandi dukaza ingamba n’imbaraga dukoresha mu rugendo rwo gutandukana n’ibyo bibazo.

Birashoboka ko ushobora gutekereza, ugashaka ikintu gishobora gusimbura ibyo bibazo, byawe. Bimwe urasanga warabihoranye mbere y’uko ibyo bibazo biza, bimwe na bimwe urasanga bigihari n’ubwo biganzwa n’ibibazo. Gerageza wongere ufate agakaramu n’agapapuro ubishushanye, ubyite izina, urebe uko bisa. Hari ingero zitandukanye abandi babyise, nk’umucyo/urumuri, umunezero, n’ibindi. Niba bishoboka ongera ufate agakaramu ubyandikire akabaruwa, ubibwire icyo ushaka kubibwira cyose. Birashoboka ko ubikumbuye, birashoka ko wifuza kubitura mu mutima wawe nk’uko abenshi bakunda kubimbwira, birashoboka ko wifuza kongera kubitumira, ukabihamagara, ukabiha karibu, birashoka ko wifuza kubibwira ko witeguye kubana nabyo. Yewe gerageza ubyandikire ubibwire akari ku mutima wawe kose.

Hari imyitozo myinshi ushobora gukomeza gukora nubishobora; niba hari uturirimbo tugufasha, wowe ushobora kwiririmbira cyangwa utw’abandi baririmbye udukoreshe, uturirimbe, hari udushobora kugufasha muri cya gihe uvumbura ibibazo, tukwereka ko abantu baremererwa, bakababara, hari utukwereka ko kugera kure atariko gupfa nk’uko umugani wa Kinyarwanda ubivuga, tukakubwira ko nta mvura idahita, utwifashishe.

Muri iyi nyandiko kandi urasangamo indi myitozo nk’igiti cy’ubuzima; uyu nawo ni umwitozo ushobora kugufasha, burya igiti kigira imizi, igihimba, amashami, ibibabi n’ imbuto. Buri gice hari icyo kimarira igiti. Gerageza ushushanye icyo giti gifite ibyo bice byose. Nurangiza tekereza ko icyo giti ari wowe, wumva imizi yawe ari iyihe? Ni iki gituma ubona ibigutunga ukaba ukiriho, ugashinga ugakomera ukaba ukigenda? Ni iki uhagazeho nk’uko igiti kiba gihagaze ku gihimba cyacyo kigakomera? Uhagaze kuki? Amashami yawe ni ayahe atuma imiyaga iza ntikugushe? Ese imbuto zawe umaze kwera ni izihe? Birashoboka ko zaba zitaranaza ariko zizaza, izo mbuto zizaza ni izihe? Yewe burya igiti hari n’igihe kiribwa n’ udukoko, igiti cy’ubuzima bwawe ni utuhe dukoko dushobora kukirya, tukaba twakwangiza imizi se, igihimba se, amashami se cyangwa n’ imbuto yewe tukaba dushobora kubuza icyo giti cyawe kwera imbuto kigomba kwera? Utwo dukoko ni utuhe? Igiti kandi iyo kiriwe n’ udukoko nyiracyo agitera imiti. Umunsi utwo dukoko twaje uzagitera iyihe miti kugira ngo imizi ikomeze ifate amashami akomeze amere neza kere imbuto nziza.

Undi mwitozo musanga muri iyi nyandiko ni umwitozo w’ikipe y’ubuzima. Abenshi bazi ikibuga cy’umupira w’amaguru. Kigira ibice bibiri biba bigenewe amakipe abiri. Reka nongere ngusabe ugishushanye hanyuma igice kimwe cy’ikibuga kibe icy’ikipe yawe, ikindi kibe igice cy’ikipe y’ibibazo. Gerageza ushyiremo abakinnyi bawe bose ushobora kwifashisha uhanganye n’ikipe y’ibibazo, gerageza kandi ushyiremo abakinnyi ikipe y’ibibazo yifashisha. Ikipe y’ubuzima bwawe ntabwo ikinisha abantu gusa, hari n’ibindi ikinisha kandi n’ ikipe y’ibibazo ni uko. Ntabwo ari ngombwa ko habamo abakinnyi 11. Reba ikipe ikomeye hari igihe usanga iyawe ariyo ikomeye urakomeza gukora imyitozo ituma irushaho gukomera kurushaho, ariko nunasanga ikipe y’ibibazo ikomeye urakora imyitozo myinshi kugirango ikipe yawe irusheho gokomera.

Undi mwitozo n’ujyanye n’inzu y’ubuzima. Burya inzu igira ibyumba byinshi kandi bigira imfunguzo zitandukanye. Shushanya inzu y’ubuzima bwawe. Sinzi umubare w’ibyumba ifite. Ishobora kuba ifite icyumba cy’imikurire (ubwana, ubugimbi, ubukurun’ibindi), ishobora kuba ifite icyumba cy’amashuri, ishobora kuba ifite icyumba cy’urushako, ishobora kuba ifite icyumba cy’urubyaro, ishobora kuba ifite icyumba cy’imirimo ukora/ akazi n’ibindi. Itegereze inzu yawe, ushobora gusanga hari ibyumba bifunze kandi nta mfunguzo ufite, ushobora gusanga hari ibyumba byasenyutse. Gerageza urebe uko wacurisha imfunguzo ku byumba bifunze, gerageza urebe uko wasana ibyumba byasenyutse aho bishobora gusanwa. Gerageza abantu cyangwa ibintu byose byagufasha mu kubona imfunguzo cyangwa gusana ibyumba bigomba gusanwa, nibiba ngomba bikaba bishobora gufungwa inzu igakomeza igahagarara.

Imyitozo ni myinshi kandi nawe washobora kubona indi ishobora kugufaha muri uru rugendo rwo gutandukana n’ikibazo ariko reka dusoreze ku mwitozo w’impamyabushobozi y’ubuzima. Reba urugendo rwose wakoze, urebe imyitozo yose wakoze hanyuma ufate agakaramu n’ agapapuro wihe impamyabushobozi. Abantu bakunda kumva ko impamyabushobozi y’amashuri kuva ku mato kugeza kuy’ikirenga ifite agaciro, ariko impamyabushobozi y’ubuzima irakomera cyane. Reba imbaraga wungutse cyangwa wari unasanganywe zo kuba mu buzima bwawe, reba uburyo wahanganye n’ibibazo mu buzima bwawe urasanga ukwiye impamyabushobozi ahubwo iruta iyikirenga.

Gukora Ibirori byo gutanduka n’ibibazo

Mu Rwanda umuntu wabonye impamyabushobozi, umuntu wageze ku rwego runaka, umuntu wageze ku kintu runaka arakishimira. Uburyo bwo kukishimira buratandukana bitewe n’ikintu runaka, bitewe n’abo bari kumwe, abo babana, aho baherereye ndetse n’ubushobozi, umuntu ndetse n’umuryango bafite.
Muri iyi nyandiko tekereza uburyo batandukanye wategura ibirori byo kwishimira urwego ugezeho rwo gutandukana n’ibibazo. Nyuma yo kwandika impamyabushobozi, tegura ibirori byo kwishimira intera/urwego ugezoho. Niba utegura ibirori, niba hari abo utumira niba hari indirimbo, imbyino, imivugo, niba hari abazafata umwanya bakagira icyo bavuga n’ibindi.